We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Green mimosas i think yes
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
