i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
