i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
