Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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