Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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