just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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