my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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