Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
