today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
