is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
