this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
