I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Small penises have feelings too.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
