They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm experimenting with sincerity
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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