i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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