i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
