is your mom at the bar?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
