I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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