I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
