38 yer olds are good kisserssss
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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