You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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