I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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