I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
