Rock
Scissors
Fuck
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
