$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So gin and wine won't be happening again
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
