Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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