Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
