do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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