Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
