Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
