i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
