so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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