She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
