I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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