How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
