DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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