dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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