Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
