I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
