Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
