Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
