they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
