VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
