This dress was meant to end up on your floor
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
