Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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