I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
