I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
