grandma shit on top of the toilet
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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