She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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