Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
