come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
