Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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