Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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