32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
