She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
