doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i think my cat just said my name.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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