just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
