Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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