You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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