That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
