At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
