So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
