@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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