the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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