i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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